Hey, it's Steve Cockram here.

Welcome back to Relational Intelligence at Work where every Tuesday you’ll get an email directly to your inbox from either Jeremie or myself.

And since you already heard from Jeremie last week, this week you get the pleasure of hearing from me.

(If you haven’t read last week’s email, check it out here: link)

The Jack and Alice story is one of the foundational stories of The Communication Code because it served as the birthplace of the book.

And while that is a truly great story, I have one of my own I’d like to share.

So let’s dive in...

Each week, my wife Helen and I try to have a designated date night.

We go to a restaurant, go to a movie, the usual things you do in a relationship.

But this particular date night was unlike any we’ve had before.

A few hours before we were supposed to leave, I noticed Helen was not her normal self so I asked her what was going on.

We're both sitting on the couch and she mentions she’s been really struggling with a few things lately and isn’t feeling up to a date night tonight.

As a consultant who spends all my time helping people solve problems, this got me excited.

Before I could respond, I think to myself, “This is going to be the best date night ever, this is exactly what I do for a living.”

I speed walk into my office, full of excitement, and roll out my whiteboard into the living room and begin writing…

I write down the three big issues she’s struggling with.

“This is going to be great… I already have some ideas of how we can solve some of these… what do you think…”

As I continue talking and finishing up the last few words on the whiteboard, I turn around to Helen, expecting her to be just as excited as me…

But Helen was not excited… she was in tears.

I pause and look at her with confusion.

“You have no idea. You don’t get me, do you?” she says.

With disappointment, I agreed, not knowing what else to do.

“I don’t get you, you don’t get me. Let’s just not do date night tonight” I say.

And still to this day, it was one of the lowest points of our relationship.

We reached a point where we were unable to continue moving forward without figuring out how to effectively communicate with each other.

But how did it get to this point?

You see, communication is the lifeblood of every relationship.

And this is about more than romantic relationships... it's about who you spend time with at work, with friends, family members, and people you interact with on a day to day basis.

Without effective communication, you are unable to connect on a deep enough level to move the relationship forward.

And to help explain this, I want to introduce you to the expectations scale of relationships.

Over time, your expectations begin to move down the scale.

And slowly but surely, communication starts to become tricky.

"When communication reaches resigned, it’s only a matter of time until you start to emotionally disconnect."

And all of the sudden, you start to move on and think:

• I made a bad hire

• I need a new relationship

• I need to make new friends
  
  

We've all reached moments in our life where these thoughts have come up.

Here’s the good news…

Jeremie and I have figured out a solution to move your relationships from limited and resigned to realistic and hopeful.

There is a process you can use…

You must deal with the past first in order to equip yourself with the tools to succeed in the present.

And it’s all laid out in our new book, The Communication Code, which is also the #1 new release in business management on Amazon right now.

Grab your copy by clicking the link HERE:

My hope is you can learn from this story and avoid making the same mistakes I did.

That's all for today's message. I hope you enjoyed!

Until next time,

Cheers from London!

Steve Cockram
Co-Founder, GiANT Worldwide