Why We Do What We Do

Today I’m at the airport on an extended layover writing a few posts for our blog.

This one wasn’t intended, but as I am in proximity to an executive catching up on their phone calls I simply can’t help it.

What exactly was said about so and so at the meeting? What did they say about my three team leads?

Without exaggeration, I estimate that 50-60% of the two conversations that happened within one foot of me were dealing with the aftermath of relational conflict not handled well, low emotional intelligence, and what we would call a dominating leader reaping havoc in this organization. This executive described the yelling, the accusing, and the insensitivity in communication that one of the team leads was operating with.

I sit here and wonder: what if the culture of this organization understood and practiced both high support and high challenge in a way that was calibrated to the needs of individuals? What could be done with the other 50% of the time that was invested in the aftermath of leaders with an apparently low EQ and understanding of how to fight for the highest possible good in the life of those around them.

Dominators – through high challenge and low support – create a culture of fear and manipulation. They have low regard for attending to the needs of others because they are blind to their own self-preservation.

In reality they are not for others they are for themselves. They seem secure, but they are insecure. They project their own competence often because inside they don’t want others to know that somewhere inside there exists a number of knowledge, skill, and character gaps. I agree with the Harvard Business Review article “In Praise of the Incomplete Leader” (worth a read) when they say it’s time to end the myth of the complete leader; the flawless ones who have it all figured out when in reality we are all incomplete.

We all know you are incomplete and it’s a good thing, that’s why we need different voices on the team.

This is why we do what we do.

We want you in your sweet spot with a high self-awareness and appreciation of differences in others. We want your organization having the right kind of relational conversations.