How To Become a More Secure Leader

Insecurity stinks. Literally.

When we are insecure, we repel rather than attract others. Insecure leaders find themselves indecisive, unclear, hesitant and afraid. When addressing this issue, some people get defensive and suggest that we are all insecure and seem hopeless that we can do anything about it. Others remain blind and reject any possibility that they are insecure, thus demonstrating their insecurity.

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While on some level, we all have tendencies to be insecure, the most important thing you need to hear right now is that the solutions to becoming more secure are simple! You can banish insecurity and become a more secure leader. Here are three ways to make that happen:

Please, be you.

Inauthenticity is the root of insecurity. 

Inauthenticity births insecurity and results in mistrust. If you are trying to be someone you are not, others will not trust you. I call it the “What About Bob” principle. Bob was that annoying friend who overstayed his welcome.  I think Bob’s problem was that he was “TRYING: to be a friend. Whenever we “TRY” to be something, we are manufacturing energy and will inevitably produce a false self. Stop trying, and just be you! 

Silence is OK.   

Insecurity manifests itself in overtalking. Insecure leaders talk, and talk, and talk, and talk. They have to prove themselves, but in trying to do that, often demonstrate their incompetence or ignorance. Silence is a reflection of confidence. Let the silence do the heavy lifting! Silence is especially important when you really don’t know the answers or what to do. Much better to be honest and quiet. 

Believe the good things others are saying about you.

As I’ve reflected on my own journey with insecurity, I realized that a key shift was when I started believing what others were saying about me. I have too often felt like I haven’t known enough or that I didn’t belong at the level that I seemed to stumble into. Others didn’t believe that; in fact, their support and believe in me is how I got there. Listen to what others are saying about who you are and how you are adding value. Listen and believe. 

Which one of these do you need to act on today?

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